Choosing a word

As we find ourselves inching towards the end of the year I find myself both excited and yet sullen. I look back at the last year as a complete whirlwind. Where did it go, what do I have to show for it? And as I look forward to the next year with eager enthusiasm I find myself going how can I make it more memorable, exciting and dream worthy? 

I am not one to set resolutions as I find them exhausting and inevitably am disappointed in myself when I don’t reach the goals. Instead I thought maybe this year I should try finding a Word of the Year. The idea is quite simple you choose a word to guide you through the year and assist you in making choices. This idea really spoke to me and I began to explore potential words; such as, Magic, Luminous, Shine. As much as I was drawn to those words they didn’t quite seem to fit. So after exploring some reasons as to why resolutions don’t stick for most people I came across an interesting observation. People are not necessarily interested in a heiving the goal so much as feeling the emotion they attach to the goal. 

So, now I asked myself what do I want feel in this upcoming year? Well, that was surprisingly easy to answer I want to feel secure, happy, confident, and stable. So, once I knew what my motivating emotions were I looked to find a word to capture those feelings as well  as looking back over this last year to see why I didn’t experience those emotions consistently. 

To my surprise I realized that the wavering of those emotions came from not feeling secure confident and happy with myself. Now I don’t dislike myself or anything or think I am a bad person or anything like that but I do find myself living out labels given by others or dependent on others:  mother, girlfriend, disabled. But who am I without these labels? What do I really stand for (and conversely what do I fall for)? What are my interests, hobbies and dreams for myself? Since I want to answer these questions and more throughout the year I have chosen the word Discover.  This is the year to discover me something I am excited and scared to do which tells me this is the perfect word. 

Discover who you are and do it with purpose

Do you set resolutions? Have you tried to live by a word? On my next post I will brainstorm some ways to live out this word during 2019. 

Til next time, 

Mary

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